Blog 5

Ideas– I really like the connection you made from art to history, and how it can affect people. It fits well with your thesis.

I am highlighting a good idea that was said, and how it connects back to the thesis.

Evidence– It would be helpful to connect this back to making a powerful message with art.

I am suggesting that it would help if there was evidence for what was said, and to connect it back to a main idea of the paper.

Organization– I think this would work good in the second paragraph or the first full paragraph on you last page (referring to a paragraph that he wanted to include but wasn’t sure where).

Moving a paragraph where it was currently, and placing it where it fits better in the flow.

As frustrating as it was to ignore the local edits until after the global edit revision, I understand why. Because it would be a waste of time if a global edit was made that caused a whole paragraph to be deleted and there were many local edits made in it. It is much more efficient to get the ideas onto the paper in the proper order, before making fine-tuning adjustments. I feel like critiquing my classmates writing has helped me to become a better writer. Now I have a better sense, and can explain why some things need to be in a certain order. And also why things need explaining and context. I’ve realized that context is really important, because reading those essays right away was confusing, if I don’t know which Ted Talk they are talking about, or if I didn’t know who Southan was. This emphasized that my reader doesn’t always know what I know, and I need to be aware of that when I’m writing. This has also opened me up to being able to revise my essays multiple times, if I read it out loud, I’ll be able to catch mistakes and make a better essay.